DEPRESSION IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE - HELP ME!

Hello guys.

What do you do when you felt so down? Stress or depression? How you handle this feeling? The loneliness? The pressure? It seems that nobody cares about you. This is the feeling that I try to avoid but human being have their own limitation. I am a person that always think positive. I believe whatever happen, I need to stay positive because in the end, it will solve no matter what. Unfortunately, I can’t hold this feeling anymore. I’m so depressed! 

Depression can negatively affect how you feel, the way you think and how you act. It seems that I’m going to be crazy! I’m so angry. My mood swing even it is not my period. It’s like a monster inside your head that takes over. This depression causes feelings of sadness, feeling worthless and guilty. I feel miserable and hopeless. I cried so bad! Why all this happen to me? Why my life is not as smooth as other people? Anything that was said to me, I managed to turn into a bad thing. I was literally my own worst enemy. I had no motivation to do anything and I believe everyone was faking their love for me. I wanted everyone to know how I felt but I didn’t dare to tell them. I keep all in my heart and mind so long and I think this is the trigger of my depression. On the day happen, I’m feeling so sick. I have bad headaches and my eyes hurt. I can’t sleep and I need something so that everything in my minds goes away. Then, I took 2 paracetamols and finally I can sleep.

I woke up on the next morning with mix feeling emotions. I felt so guilty to what I have done yesterday. I realized I need Allah. Yes, I know that I am not a good Muslim but I need Allah (SWT). Only Allah (SWT) can help me. Only Allah (SWT) can hear my misery. I prayed. I cried badly and I really pray so that Allah can forgive me and hope all my difficulties goes away. Alhamdulillah. I felt more calm. Ask and you shall receive. Yes, no matter how big your need is or how difficult you think your problem is or how messy your situation is it is a matter of Kun Fayakun for Allah (SWT). Have firm faith that your ‘dua’ will be answered and your wish will definitely be granted. Allah (SWT) is able to make all the ease into something difficult, as well as difficult into ease. Nothing is hard for Him because He is All Knowing and Almighty over all.

A lesson I learnt from this situation is there is nothing wrong in turning towards Allah (SWT) and asking His help in the times of hardship. A Muslim who turns to Him will realize that His help is far better than the help of some other person or the struggle, which a person makes personally. It is the way we deal with these hardships that matters and that effects the level and magnitude of suffering we experience in hard times. I should remain hopeful and complement the efforts I makes with faith in Allah (SWT) for getting through this hardship gracefully.

No matter what difficulties you’re facing, know that God has your back. He’s there even when things seem hopeless. He’s there when the circumstances are darker than you ever imagined. He's there when everyone has given up on you. Place your trust in him for he is ALWAYS there.

P/S: I wrote this a while ago when my feeling is terribly sad and now I'm OK already. I just want to share with you guys in case you have the same situation.